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Top 5 things you shouldn’t do when your partner cheats

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5 things you shouldnt do when your partner cheats

Whether your partner makes out with someone else or has a months-long affair, being cheated on hurts.

But that doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t worth repairing, a choice that is yours alone to make.

There will always be those friends and family who insist that you leave, but only you can decide what’s right for you.

And while infidelity is painful, a relationship does usually get better when people are committed and they are working hard to establish a trust and are truly remorseful.

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Below are five things you shouldn’t do when your partner cheats.

1. Don’t ignore the infidelity

You might be tempted to act as if nothing happened because it feels less painful, but if you do, any resentment you have will likely fester, and what’s more, you won’t address the underlying problems in the relationship. The most important thing is to understand the meaning of the infidelity, because many, many times it’s a reflection on the satisfaction in the relationship. Cheating really happens in a kind of attempt by the cheater to bring some attention to the problems in the relationship.

2. Don’t blame yourself

You have to know that someone cheating on you is not your fault. You are not responsible for it, you didn’t deserve it, and if your partner crossed lines instead of communicating their needs to you lovingly, or breaking off the relationship, that’s on them, not you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to understand those needs and meet them if you want to salvage the relationship and of course, they have to do the same for you.

3. Don’t try to get even

It might make you feel better momentarily to trash your no-good cheating partner on social media, or to trash their car. Okay, that one might make you feel better for more than a moment. You might even get a rush from cheating on them, too. But evening the score will not solve the underlying problem. It won’t even bring you both to love each other again even if you both later decide to dedicate yourselves to recovering from the violation of one another’s trust.

4. Don’t bring up the infidelity to win unrelated arguments

The fact that he cheated doesn’t give you the right to beat him up endlessly or bring his infidelity out as your trump card every time you get into another argument. You have to be willing to let it go if you want to move on. This means that when you are arguing about how you didn’t tell them you would be out with friends all weekend, you don’t insert a “Well, at least I didn’t cheat on you” into the conversation.

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5. Don’t rush the healing process

Your partner’s betrayal could hurt in the same ways for the same reasons for a long time. Be patient with yourself as you process, and let your partner know that they need to be patient with you, too. It’s very important for the person who had an affair to understand that their partner is devastated and that it’s difficult to put things back together.

Media Publicist | A&R | Blogger.

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Health & Lifestyle

How long should you date your partner before marriage?

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You feel so lucky to find a fantastic and compatible partner that marriage seems like a natural progression. You only know the person for a few months or weeks.

Your brain tells you to wait, but your heart tells you not to. You are in a dilemma despite your partner ticking all the right boxes for you.

You will still be hesitant to tie the knot. Why? It may be because you are unsure whether you have dated enough with him/her to become a lifelong partner.

How long should you date before marriage? Well, the answer can be subjective and varies from person to person.

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Even if there is no right or wrong answer, you can still evaluate your situation from all angles before making the final decision. Read on to know if your decision is correct.

How long should you date your partner before marriage?

The purpose of dating someone is to understand them to determine whether you want to commit to them. Dating helps check your compatibility, confirm your feelings, and test your partner’s love for you. And when you feel your life and personality are in sync with your partner, you are set for marriage.

But you never know how long it will take to understand your compatibility level, determine how you feel, and understand whether you truly love your partner.

According to a study of more than 3,000 couples by researchers at Emory University, couples dating more than a year or two before marriage had a 20% less chance of divorce than couples who married within a year of dating. Similarly, couples who have been dating for more than three years have 50%fewer chances of divorce.

In short, research backs the idea that dating your partner for at least a year is essential to determine if you should marry your partner.

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Does the duration of courtship make a difference?

No two couples are the same, so each couple’s ideal date before marriage will differ. Besides, you can never guarantee specific results. This means that even after dating for years, a couple sometimes hardly knows each other, and for some couples, a few months is enough to know almost everything about each other.

However, a more extended dating period can help the couple with the following aspects.

  • It helps determine whether each other’s feelings are genuine. Witnessing the ups and downs of a relationship and if feelings for each other remain unchanged, then it is genuine. This means you are genuinely in love with each other.
  • After the initial “honeymoon period” fades out, the couple will be in a better place to judge each other’s shortcomings and strengths. In times of conflict, the couple will see different aspects of their personalities. They learn how their partner deals with stress and tension situations. It makes them question whether they are willing to accept their partner as they are.
  • Cohabitation during courtship further reveals their real personalities and enables them to understand how compatible they are and whether marriage is their future choice. It prepares the couple for the real deal.

How to know if you are ready to marry someone?

Marriage affects not only your life but your partner’s. Therefore, the decision should be mutual rather than unilateral. Here are some indicators that show that your decision to marry is the right decision for you and your partner.

  1. Want to marry out of choice: As a couple, the final decision to tie the knot should be mutual agreement and not under external pressure. Don’t let age, family, friends, society, etc., influence your decision to marry. Follow your heart, and only do what you think is appropriate.
  1. Looking for marriage instead of wedding: The idea of having family and friends attend and enjoy a beautiful wedding often tempts people to take the plunge quickly. However, both of you need to ask yourself the motivation for deciding to get married. Do you want to host a fantastic wedding party, or is it a personal choice to spend a lifetime with your partner? Be loyal to yourself, and you will find an answer.
  1. Consider the good and bad in the relationship: There will always be good and bad phases. Remember, there will be fights and disagreements. Do you think your bond is strong enough to withstand any adversity? If so, go ahead with the wedding.
  2. Accepted each other wholeheartedly: Are you happy with the partner the way they are? Or do you think you can help them make some changes to make them more suitable for you? If your answer to the first question is “yes,” then marriage is for you. If your answer to the second question is “yes,” you may need to reevaluate your decision. When you truly love someone, you will love them completely. Wanting to change them in any way indicates a lack of true love in your relationship.
  3. Made long-term plans for each other: You should make plans keeping your partner’s interests in mind. Setting long-term goals in line with your partner will sustain the relationship in the long run. Be flexible and respectful of your partner’s plans.
  4. Support each other through tough times: Each couple goes through various phases that test their love bond. It can be external problems such as financial difficulties or internal matters such as misunderstandings. As a couple, if you have faced challenging times and sailed through them together, then marriage may be the next step in your relationship
  5. Get along with respective families: Families play an essential role in the success of the couple’s married life. If your partner is not acceptable to your family and vice-versa, then matters can get tricky. Families’ interference can affect your relationship, leading to conflicts, resentment, and frustration. Therefore, before deciding to get married, it is best to ensure that both families agree to the alliance.

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Health & Lifestyle

Top 4 simple tips to get rid of chest acne

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Many people think that acne only develops on the face. That is not true. Acne can develop in most areas of your body, including the nose, back, and even chin.

You see, blemishes can come upon any part of your body. They are mostly caused by hormones or even oils applied to the skin.

Your chest pores can get clogged, and that is when you say you are acne-affected.

Though there are many areas where acne can develop, this article entirely focuses on getting rid of pimples on your chest. Thus, if you have chest acne, worry less.

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Here are the brilliant pointers to help you stop it.

1. Stay hydrated

Over time, you must have heard or read about the various uses of water in your body. You see, your body releases a lot of toxins. These toxins have to be taken out of your body to keep your skin healthy and functioning normally. Thus, drinking a lot of water everyday helps flush out such toxins from your body.

The recommended amount of water that you should take every day is eight glasses a day. By doing so, your body remains hydrated all through. And the water helps to prevent clogging of your pores.

2. Use loose and non-irritating clothing

It is advisable to put on clothes that are not tight. Remember, your skin needs to breathe. So, if you wear clothes that are tight and fabrics that aren’t breathable, you will not be keeping chest acne on the check. This strategy helps by keeping of dirt, oils and bacteria that could otherwise be trapped by tight clothes.

3. Make use of body wash that fight blemishes

One of the surefire ways on how to get rid of chest acne is to use acne products. You can wash the affected areas on your chest two times in a day. However, be certain the body wash you choose contains salicylic acid. The acid helps in drying out the blemishes. So, it is an ingredient that makes the body wash most effective.

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4. Take a shower every day

You should not compromise with the need to take a regular shower. Even others take showers multiple times in a single day. You see, your body releases a lot out. Things like sebum, dirt, dead cells, and oils can block your body pores. The most effective way to prevent or remove them is to take a shower daily.

If you fail or postpone your shower to the following day, you are giving such things an opportunity to block your body pores which may lead to acne.

Bottom line

You have explored the various tactics of getting rid of chest acne. You see if it means changing your lifestyle a bit so that the chest acne disappears then it is worth it. Take a shower every day- even multiple times in a day, keep hydrated and make use of body wash that contains salicylic acids.

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Health & Lifestyle

Top 5 plants and herbs that are good for skin care

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skincare

 

Plants and herbs have a lot to do with skincare. Most chemical products are made from extracts of these plants and herbs.

If you want to go the organic way, the purely natural and direct way, these 5 plants and herbs are some of the best you can use.

  1. Mint

You’ll find mint in a host of personal care products, and it’s no surprise. This fragrant leaf can refresh the skin and help clear up acne. How? Mint contains natural salicylic acid, a gentle and effective exfoliate that can help clear pores and combat breakouts. Mint is an anti-pruritic agent, helping to calm infected, itchy skin. Mint also contains a healthy dose of Vitamin A, which can help strengthen skin tissue and reduce oil production.

  1. Green Tea Leaf

Want to soothe your skin and improve your complexion? Pull out your teacup. Green tea is a master at skin rejuvenation. Taken internally, it can help flush out toxins from the body. Applied topically, it can heal blemishes faster, reduce the appearance of scars, and alleviate inflammation. Green tea is also packed with antioxidants, helping delay signs of ageing and combating skin damage.

  1. Cucumbers

On any day, I’ll say cucumber is the king of all plants that deal with skincare. Fresh cucumbers contain plenty of antioxidants, helping you combat wrinkles and prevent sun damage. Cucumbers contain important compounds called curcumin and cucurbitacins that can help fight inflammation and minimize the effects of ageing. They also pack a mean punch of Vitamins C and K, antioxidants that can help fight dark circles under your eyes. The Vitamin B5 found in this crunchy produce helps the skin retain moisture, while silica found in cucumbers promotes collagen production, which can help combat wrinkles. These are just some of the reasons why we included cucumber in our vegan face wash.

  1. Rosemary

Rosemary is a staple in flavorful dishes, and as it turns out, a great addition to an at-home skincare routine. With its natural antiseptic properties, it’s a great disinfectant for your skin. Its anti-inflammatory properties can help reduce redness from breakouts and soothe the skin. Rosemary is bursting with antioxidants, helping fight against free radicals and prevent wrinkles.

  1. Aloe Vera

Aloe Vera is a known miracle worker when it comes to skin ailments. It’s been used for centuries and was called the “plant of immortality” by the ancient Egyptians. Have a sunburn? Rub Aloe Vera gel on inflamed skin for instant soothing. This cactus plant produces a clear gel that can help heal wounds; this gel contains two hormones called Gibberellins and Auxin that can stimulate the growth of new cells and cut down on acne scarring. Easy to grow and quick to heal? Aloe Vera is a definite wonder plant.

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Health & Lifestyle

Top 5 things to realise before getting into a casual relationship

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how to stop unmet expectations from ruining your relationship

 

It’s not overly unnatural to feel unworthy when you’ve been indulging in casual relationships for some time now.

Human emotions, like any other, are extremely sensitive, so if you’re on the verge of denying regret over your decisions, you’ll fall further behind.

A continuous string of casual relationships leave you wanting and craving for more and it’s not just bodily pleasure but emotional support.

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The lack of feelings in a casual relationship eventually leaves a person vulnerable and drained. Hence, here are some things people wished they knew before getting into a casual relationship.

1. Casual sex doesn’t mean disrespect

People who have indicted themselves to casual relationships often fail to understand how fairly they should be treated. They shouldn’t have to feel ‘disposed of’ every time they get off a casual date, which may lead them to feel undeserving of care. Casual relationships should be fun and enjoyable, not something to feel regret about sharing your body with someone else.

2. Importance of communication

Casual relationships may not involve talking or reciprocating deep emotional feelings but surely includes communicating about one’s preferences and a familiarity that surpasses the bedroom. Voicing consent and concerns is very necessary when it comes to casual relationships because sometimes, people mistake silence for consent, which is one of the leading issues in such flings, according to experts.

3. Negative advantages

In casual relationships, there might be the onset of power imbalances or situations where one takes advantage of another. Often, one person in this relationship is more powerful than the other, mainly because of the hold they have over the situation. Let’s say, taking advantage of a person’s emotional attraction and using it to get into bed, is extremely hurtful.

4. Hidden sensitivity

No matter how much people dismiss the idea of emotionless sex or intimacy, there’s at least a tiny hint of tenderness between people who have sexual or intimate relations with each other. People who approach casual relationships without any sense of care or emotion do it due to the lack of emotions in their life. And this can emotionally harm or drain the other person.

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5. Love makes its way through

Sometimes, even though a person enters a casual relationship with the idea that the relationship will be strictly sexual and non-platonic, they end up falling in love. This emotion has a way of seeping through cracks of emotions and sensitive feelings, making a person falling in love despite their lack of emotions. And the more they deny, the deeper they fall in love. And so, it’s better to accept the situation like it is.

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