Unmet expectations can be one of the biggest banes in a romantic relationship, to the point of even destroying it completely.
Are you wondering how to stop unmet expectations from ruining your relationship? Do you find yourself constantly disappointed with your partner and thinking about ending it?
Today, the idea of a relationship has evolved, in most part due to movies and reality TV, into something that is supposed to define us and be the focal point of our lives.
The expectations of our marriage are such that, if they are not met, the relationship will be damaged, perhaps irreversibly.
There are ways to stop unmet expectations from ruining your relationship. Here are a few.
1. Identify your own
What do you think you need from your partner? Do you need him to give up his friends and hobbies for you? Do you expect to have sex every night? Do you want her to keep the house spotlessly clean as your mother did? Do you expect him to anticipate your every need?
Expectations like these are exactly the things that can kill a relationship. I would encourage you to think about what you want from your partner so that it’s clear in your mind. I also want you to consider if your expectations are reasonable.
2. Set boundaries
To understand healthy relationship boundaries, look at the four walls of your house. Those walls are the structure that holds your life together. They hold your food and your bed and your possessions and it’s where you live your life.
Healthy boundaries are the same as those four walls of your house. Of course, it’s important for each couple to decide what works for them but it is important that every couple establish some boundaries early and stick to them for the sake of their relationship.
3. Be truthful
One of the most common complaints that we hear from women is ‘he should know what I need. I shouldn’t have to tell him.’ And this, I am afraid, is mostly impossible.
Based on the fact that men have no idea how women think and why, it’s a mystery to them. So expecting them to be able to do so will set you up for disaster. If your person isn’t meeting your expectations, tell them. Not in the heat of the moment when you are angry and yelling but at an opportune time when you can discuss it calmly.