Are you always the one to text first or who suggests dates and nights out? Do you have the niggling feeling that you’re invested in this relationship more than your partner?
If so, you’re in the midst of a one-sided relationship. You’re probably wondering how to fix a one-sided relationship.
One-sided relationships can be extremely damaging and upsetting for the person who is doing all the giving, while the other is take, take, take. Nobody wants to feel undervalued or not cared for.
The good news is that there is sometimes an intervention that can make a difference. Of course, it all depends on whether or not the one not paying much attention is willing to change.
The below listed options can prove to be helpful. They are:
1. Think carefully
The first part is really about identifying how you feel. Think carefully before you make any moves here; are you sure that this hasn’t only been going on for a week or two? Could there be another reason? Are you looking for things that aren’t there? Sometimes, if you’ve been treated badly in a previous relationship, it can be all too easy to place the same label on a new relationship. Think about it and be clear.
2. Communicate in a clear way
Once you know how you feel, sit down with your partner and communicate how you feel. Keep your emotions out of it if you can, but if they flow outwards don’t worry about it, you’re simply being real. Explain as clearly as you can about how it makes you feel. Avoid pointing the blame, with words like ‘you did this …’; instead say ‘I feel …’.
3. Identify if they’re willing to change
From the conversation you’ve just had, you’ll be able to ascertain whether they’re willing to change or not. If they clearly rejected your points, then as upsetting as it may be, it’s best to walk away now. You don’t deserve to be blamed for things you haven’t done, and you certainly don’t deserve to beg for attention. Walk away with your head up.
4. Concentrate on one thing only
After you’ve had the conversation, you’re likely to be on high-alert, looking for signs of change or otherwise. You’ll burn yourself out if you do this. Instead, stick to one problem at a time. Are they suggesting dates more often? Once you’ve ascertained change in that department, move onto another area. Are they texting you first on occasion? Don’t overwhelm yourself, or them, with a list of points to address.
5. Look after number one
Throughout this whole process, after you’ve voiced your concerns, turn your attention onto yourself. Do the things you love, spend time with friends, and go out and enjoy yourself. Spend time out of the relationship as well as in it. This will allow you to regroup and recover from the way you felt before the conversation took place.